(Image source: Yara Nardi for Reuters)

Pope Francis acknowledges my gay identity more than my own grandmother – a surprising contrast, considering they are both devout Catholics of the same generation. Somehow, a childless monarch of the Vatican City State has been more accepting than a woman who helped raise me.

My grandmother loves me unconditionally but never utters the word “gay.” I’ve always interpreted her silence on the matter as a casualty of faith. Catholicism’s condemnation of homosexuality feels deeply ingrained in history and culture. And yet, Pope Francis has taken strides to make the church more accepting to LGBTQ people.

As someone who renounced Catholicism, I found it revolutionary that the most powerful voice in the Catholic church is working toward some form of LGBTQ inclusion. But to what extent? I needed to understand the pontiff’s views of queer people.

Fabio Marchese Ragona, author of the pope’s forthcoming official biography, Life: My Story Through History, told me that to grasp his pastoral leadership, often inaccurately perceived as excessively progressive compared to his predecessors, we must delve into his origins and upbringing.

Ragona, a Vatican correspondent for Mediaset, the largest commercial broadcaster in Italy, responded to my questions in Italian, mirroring his book’s text. I enlisted the help of the North American version’s translator, Aubrey Botsford. Ragona explains that the pope’s background in Latin America shaped his point of view, influenced by a “people’s theology,” which emphasizes a preferential option for the poor.

“Hence Francis’s strong focus on those at the bottom, the discarded, and his demand for an outward-bound church that does not close in on itself,” Ragona said. “He has spoken of a ‘globalization of indifference,’ and this statement undoubtedly arises out of a past – in Buenos Aires – he lived alongside the poor, those discarded by society who live in the villas miserias (shantytowns).”

The author doesn’t mince words: before the world called him Pope Francis, Jorge Bergoglio considered the church a home for everyone and worked to make that possible as a bishop, as an archbishop, and as a cardinal before taking the Vatican’s helm. “The pope doesn’t want privileges anymore; he wants the church to be a ‘field hospital,’” Ragona said, who believes Pope Francis is an emblem of the new wave of Catholic leadership working to break ties with a history of corruption, abuse and scandal, and return the people’s trust in the church by making it an institution for communal good.

Since taking office in 2013, Pope Francis has encouraged high-ranking church affiliates to limit luxuries and opt for modest housing to maximize funds for those in need. Some critics have accused him of peddling communism. But Ragona insists the church follows the gospel rather than political belief systems.

That doesn’t mean Pope Francis has shied away from political conversations or controversial opinions, such as his vocal rejection of marriage equality. Ragona excuses his stance as a matter of scripture. “Pope Francis has often said that people who form a civil partnership should have stronger and more appropriate legal protection,” he says.

Although Pope Francis didn’t affirm civil unions until 2020, the LGBTQ community held on to hope for more inclusion since a comment he made right after his selection as pope in 2013. After returning from his first trip abroad as pontiff, journalists inquired if there was a “gay lobby” in the Vatican. Pope Francis responded with a line that soon went viral around the world, “If a person is gay and seeks God and has good will, who am I to judge?” Within that same interview, he advocated for a greater role for women in the church.

Optimism for change did not last long. As the pope soon shut the door on ordination for women, he condemned what he described as “lobbying by gay people,” suggesting that he did not approve of those who wanted the church to endorse marriage equality. But later that year, Pope Francis demonstrated a departure from his predecessors on homosexuality not just in tone, but also in action. Kairos, an organization of LGBTQ Catholics in Florence, Italy, reported receiving a handwritten note from the pope, marking the first time a pontiff communicated with an LGBTQ group.

The Italian group told a local newspaper, La Repubblica, that they wrote the pope to say his correspondence would help battle homophobia in the church. He unexpectedly wrote back, saying they had his blessing. Although he didn’t directly advocate for them, the respect he showed was groundbreaking enough for The Advocate, the largest queer publication at the time, to name him their 2013 Person of the Year.

Unfortunately, that did not deter Pope Francis from opposing the queer community on important issues.

While millions marched in Rome for marriage equality in 2014, the following day, Pope Francis delivered a speech to 25,000 people stressing the importance of children having heterosexual parents. It was a blow felt by queer Catholics who held onto the possibility that he would affirm their relationships and abilities to raise children.

This dichotomy continued in March 2015 when Pope Francis had unprecedented lunch with a group of about 90 prisoners in Naples, including ten from a ward that held inmates who are gay, transgender, or living with HIV/AIDS, once again showing his willingness to spend time with LGBTQ people. But the subsequent month saw the release of Pope Francis’s encyclical, Laudato Sí. In paragraph 155, he critiques “gender theory,” a move interpreted by some as a condemnation of transgender identities. He compared the dangers of gender theory to nuclear weapons

Despite his apparent concerns about gender theory and children who do not have straight parents, the pontiff made headlines in 2015 during his first public visit to Paraguay when he met with a group of civil leaders, among them Simón Cazal, who had symbolically married his husband in Argentina and became the first LGBTQ activist to publicly meet with a pope. This historic moment was particularly significant in a country where no protections existed for LGBTQ people.

Cazal told me the meeting put him in the spotlight for a few months and consequently connected his activism with religious institutions, even if he didn’t identify as Catholic himself. “Pope Francis is a very intelligent leader who understands the boundaries, complexities, and challenges of navigating an institution as ancient as the Catholic church,” Cazal said. “I believe his personal inclination leans towards supporting science and acknowledging the evidence surrounding real issues that demand attention, such as climate change, inequality, the crumbling of democracies, and the rise of authoritarian philosophies spreading across our territories.”

Cazal ultimately believes Pope Francis is fostering a new culture that aligns with the spirit of Catholicism while also constructing universal bridges. “The efforts made by him and his team are extremely valuable and have the potential to change many hearts and minds globally,” added Cazal.

If anything, the pope’s approach to queer people was certainly turning heads in the press. From his meeting at the Vatican with a transgender man who was rejected by his local parish in Spain after undergoing gender-confirming surgery in 2015, to his summoning a French student who was severely injured while defending a gay couple in 2018, the risk of controversy did not deter him from dialogue.

Still, one of Pope Francis’ most contentious meetings did not unfold until October 2023.

The Executive Director of the LGBTQ advocacy group, New Ways Ministry, Francis DeBernardo, was invited to meet with the pope. DeBernardo helps lead education and advocacy efforts across churches in the U.S. for the inclusion and acceptance of queer people. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he was shocked when Pope Francis responded to his letters and welcomed, if not summoned, his group to visit his Vatican office.

(Image: New Ways Ministry logo)

“I was anticipating trumpets and a grand announcement,” DeBernardo told me. Instead, he received only the nervous reaction of a colleague gesturing towards Pope Francis standing behind him. The head of the Catholic church extended his humble hand to DeBernardo and his three colleagues, followed by nearly an hour of his coveted time, DeBernardo recalls with pride and a smirk.

DeBernardo’s meeting with the pope raised eyebrows across oceans, with the press speculating about whether it solidified his solidarity with New Ways Ministry’s positions. The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops had previously censured the organization.

However, while journalists probed DeBernardo about the pope’s remarks to a group of Catholic LGBTQ educators, it was his group that did most of the talking. “He truly wanted to listen to us,” DeBernardo remarked. “It didn’t feel like a high-level organizational meeting but more like a pastoral visit.” The pope invited them to share their experiences.

When I questioned DeBernardo on whether the pope vocalized support for queer people, he stumbled on his words before saying that he and his colleagues certainly thanked the pontiff for his support. It was a thank you DeBernardo never expected to give the pope in his lifetime authentically, let alone in the flesh. DeBernardo believes Pope Francis has given the LGBTQ community “all he can,” in terms of public approval.

Pope Francis departed from the meeting with a quote from St. Paul: “Hope does not disappoint,” DeBernardo remembers, along with a prayer by St. Thomas More asking God for a sense of humor.

By that meeting in 2023, Pope Francis had officially endorsed a priest’s ministry to LGBTQ Catholics in writing, offered letters of support to people working with gay and transgender communities, encouraged parents to love and not condemn their children of different sexual orientations, denounced laws that criminalize LGBTQ people, and appointed multiple leadership roles to people with strong pro-LGBTQ records.

One month after meeting with the New Ways Ministry, the Vatican announced that transgender people could be baptized and serve as godparents. But officials clarified it did not equate to a policy change in the church.

DeBernardo draws a comparison between the influence and power of Pope Francis and that of the President of the United States. “The President can’t change laws but sets a tone, style, and an agenda on what issues will be worked on and what is more important,” DeBernardo said. “When the document Fidus Supplicans came out, it was unheard of for bishops to oppose the pope so publicly.”

Fidus Supplicans was a Vatican document released in December 2023 that shook the Catholic realm – for better or worse – as it endorsed blessings for LGBTQ individuals, arguably marking the pope’s boldest move to date. It allowed queer people to seek receiving the sign of the Holy Trinity from a priest, considered spiritual healing or good luck and often sought in times of hardship or illness.

When news first broke, the public misinterpreted the statement as a sign queer people would be able to get married by a priest in the church. However, the Vatican quickly clarified that the blessers are only allowed in informal settings and not for any special ceremonies. Still, certain generations of queer Catholics have been awaiting the affirmation of a blessing their entire lives.

Public historian Emma Cieslik shared that a blessing is a big deal at her Catholic parish in Washington, D.C. but that it’s not enough. This blessing does nothing to distinguish queer relationships, like straight ones, as sacred and special. “We provide blessings to animals and pets. There’s a day for that, where you bring all your animals, livestock, and pets to the church parking lot. And that’s a blessing that people give. We bless churches, which is incredibly meaningful. We bless religious spaces, religious people, and lay people.”

Cieslik can’t help but feel anger and frustration, even though she acknowledges the notion that it is the most Pope Francis can do right now – at least strategically to maintain an allegiance with both sides – because it doesn’t feel like enough. “So, he’s trying in his role to give these little breadcrumbs of, like, he ate pasta with a trans woman in the Vatican City,” says Cieslik. “And that’s important for visibility. He was saying kind words to gay men and children of gay parents. He’s trying his best in the ways that he knows to advocate for it.”

To further complicate the situation, Cieslik reflects on the most recent Catholic Synod on Synodality, in which a 41-page report on the progress of the church held no positive statement on LGBTQ issues — or even the term itself. New Ways Ministry released its own statement titled, “Synod Report Greatly Disappoints, But We Must Have Hope,” while Cieslik wrote an article reflecting on the high hopes she had before its publication.

Such setbacks worsen a broader problem within the Catholic church. The church has witnessed the steepest decline in membership in America in the past two decades compared to any other religious group.

Pope Francis understands that the Vatican stands at a crossroads, torn between traditional practices and the imperative to engage a new generation to sustain its legacy. However, Cieslik, who has personally chronicled the first history project focusing on LGBTQ Catholic leaders, believes that if this is what the church expects queer youth to understand as “growth or moving in a specific direction, it’s not fast enough.”

Pope Francis recently took his progress in the opposing direction by solidifying his long-held opposition to gender theory, calling it an “ugly ideology of our times, which cancels out the differences and makes everything the same.”

“Cancelling out the differences means canceling out humanity,” added Pope Francis in the statement.

Still, many Catholics believe there are long-term ripple effects to the allyship and empathy Pope Francis has shown, and that has taken root in religious spaces, even if they fear his predecessors will be less open-minded.

But for now, DeBernardo says there was one sentence in the pope’s sign-off in his correspondence to him that gives him hope and that could be seen as a message for the LGBTQ community at large: “I’m at your disposal.”

Jamie Valentino is a freelance journalist and columnist with bylines in Business Insider, HuffPost, Men’s Journal, Chicago Tribune, Slate, and dozens more. His work has been republished in over 100 newspapers internationally, translated into five languages, and placed as a finalist in multiple literary contests.