Next to Constantine, Mel Gibson’s The Passion is an episode of Spongebob Squarepants. In Constantine, Keanu Reeves as the titular, demon-slaying hero visits a bar frequented by the “fallen,” the decadence of whom we are to presume from their androgynous looks and queer interest in Keanu, once again playing a Christ-figure. (What, you didn’t get that he was supposed...